To New Beginnings

So, here we are. Have you noticed how I seem to start almost all my blogs with the exact same four words? Nothing new in this one then.  A few weeks ago I wrote a rather serious blog as opposed to my usual humour. There were no jokes about current affairs and no pictures, bar one. This current edition is also going to be pretty much along those same lines.

Quite a fair bit has happened in the last few weeks since ‘Stay Foolish, Stay Hungry’ Most notably, the man I took that quote from, Steve Jobs, passed away as a result of the pancreatic cancer that has plagued him these past few years. A friend of mine was quite right when he said “Three apples changed the world. The first tempted Eve, the second landed on Newton’s head and the third was the one that Jobs gave the world.”  If there is one icon that will define the early 21^st Century, it’s the bitten into apple on the iconic iPod with its distinct white earphones.

Steve Jobs, Thank you. May you rest in peace!

Moving on now... As I said, a fair bit has happened in the few weeks since the last entry. It’s not an event or occurrence that is significant to the rest of the world, and very few people will even care, but to me personally, it’s a huge change. I have finally left my studies at the University of Greenwich. I am no longer a student at this fine institute and as a result, at the end of this month, I will no longer be a member of the student staff team at the Enquiry Unit. That means no more answering the phones, no more standing at Mary Seacole reception on Avery Hill Open Days telling potential students that the Open Day was last week or has been cancelled on that day (Although I think Jess will be glad of that last one ... I don’t think she has had a complaint about it yet and I don’t plan on getting one on my last Open Day).

I am moving my studies to the University of Portsmouth where I am studying a program more suited to the line of work that I will be doing next year and BSc Multimedia Technology, although it is an interesting subject, it is not one that I have particularly enjoyed and am quite happy to leave. Having said that, if Greenwich University were running the program then I would very much like to have stayed here. I have enjoyed my time at this institute as a student, and also have enjoyed my time in the Enquiry Unit. This is my last blog as a student here. I do plan to keep writing so you can follow my future exploits if you wish, but for now, this is my farewell.

Having said that, I can honestly say that I have learnt that this job is not for me. I definitely cannot stand being in an office for 9-5:30 at a computer answering the phone. I can’t say I will be sad to leave this job. The people here, however, I will be sad to leave behind. I’ve only worked here one day a week for the most part of the year, but since early July I have worked pretty much full time and have gotten to know some pretty decent people. The full time staff here are some of the most pleasant people I have had the pleasure of working with and they will be missed. Some I have spent more time with than others, specifically Uzma, and Laura as they were my Team Leaders for Clearing 2010/2011 and had to put up with my constant moaning and complaining about the most pointless of rubbish. I would like to thank the members of the student team that I have worked with. Too many names to mention, but all of you have left me with some good memories to take away from the Enquiry Unit. Remco’s joking about will be something that I won’t be forgetting any time soon, with him trying to make prank calls during clearing and me and Sonia getting our own back on him later that morning. Winning ‘Theme Your Team’ in 2010 was a pretty good moment. (Although we did have help from a UK Police Force)

Thank You to all those who have been (silently) following my rants every month. I know you people exist, Uzma showed me, there are people viewing this blog all over the world. Even on the Moon. All I ask of you is to officially follow my rants on here or to once in a while post a line or two about who you are, where you’re from and what you like or dislike about what I write.

Lastly I would like to thank our fearless leader, Jess for giving me the opportunity to work in such a great place with some great people. Especially in recent months, she has been very understanding of my situations, what with riots in London and leaving work early so I could go and help my fellow police officers deal with the carnage that ensued, to finding space for me to work the few extra days that I do each week as I won’t be having a job three weeks from now.

I have not always left jobs on the best of terms with managers in the past, but this will be one of those times when I do.

Thanks ... And Goodbye

... For now

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish

So, here we are slowly coming to the end of Clearing 2011. We have these past few weeks been working back at the spiritual home of Clearing – The Maritime Campus in Greenwich. It’s a wonderful office. And by wonderful, I mean a long rectangular shaped, stuffy room with no windows and where the air-con has a mind of its own and everyone falls ill at some point or another. Having said that, it would just feel wrong if Clearing was anywhere else. I would have loved to stay at Avery Hill but I can’t say I am upset at having to come here.  Next week we will have moved back ‘home’ to the Fry building on the Southwood Site.

Anyways, the new academic year looms and for some it will be business as usual as they go into the second or third year of their studies at university. For everyone else, it is the start of a new phase of their life, if you are one of those who are just starting out at university, you have an amazing three (or four) years to look forward to. During these years you will go through many ups and downs and there will come many times when you will think “What’s the point?” and want to just jack it all in. My advice to you is simple. Don’t!

For many of you this will be your first time living away from home. You might be coming from elsewhere in England, the EU or the world. Some of you might already know Greenwich well, for others this will be a completely new experience. From this point on the circumstances of your life; what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, how confident or shy you are – none of that matters anymore. Where you have come from doesn’t determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. At university you make your own destiny. Yes, there will be all the “fun” stuff like the partying and if you are living out then all that goes with that as well. But you cannot ignore the not so fun bit that is the actual studying. There is nothing worse than having to repeat years at university while your friends go on to the second and third years or even graduate and you are left behind, so studying just as hard as you party is not such a bad idea. In fact, I would recommend it. When you are standing there in the Chapel (if you study at Maritime or Avery Hill) or in Rochester Cathedral (for those studying at Medway) with your friends, all wearing that oversized gown and ridiculous hat, it will all be worth it. You might not think so just yet, or even after your last exam, but trust me, it will hit you when your name is called and you step up to collect your scroll.

For those of you who have completed your time at Greenwich, this is a pretty scary time. You have been at university for a few years now and finally it is time to do that which you have been trying to put off and step out into the big bad world. I can tell you from personal experience; it really is not as bad as some people make out. Yes, everything does become real, very quickly but that is the best part. You have spent all these years gathering and fine tuning all these skills and now is the time to put them to use. Some will tell you “throw caution to the wind” and “live each day as it is your last”. If you do, then one day you will certainly be right. I will tell you, you can’t treat every situation as a life and death matter. If you do, you will die many many times.  If you have made it this far, trust me, you have the balls to make it through life.

Speaking of death, it is an inevitable eventuality. No one wants it to be them. Even people who have a desire to go to heaven want to get there without dying. But still it is the ultimate destination that we all share. There has not been anyone to escape that fact. The way I see it, that’s exactly how it should be. Death is the single best invention of life. It clears out the old to make way for the new. At this stage in life, that new is You. One day you will eventually be the old and have to make way for another new having been cleared away.

What I am trying to say, harsh as it may sound, is that your time in this life is limited so you shouldn’t waste the time you have by living, or being forced to live someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by some dogma (not the film ... although I would recommend you watch it if you haven’t already). Don’t let other peoples thinking dictate how you live. Don’t let the noise created by other people’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. At the very least, have the balls to follow your heart and intuition. These two already know what you want to make of your life. Just follow them and everything else is just secondary.

Many years ago, before my time, back in the 1960’s there was this magazine called “The Whole Earth Catalogue” created by a guy called Stewart Brand. Being in the era that it was, one without personal computers and any form of desktop publishing., it was quite a piece of work. One that was created with simple things like typewriters, scissors and this thing called a ‘Polaroid camera’. You could say it was very much so a version of Google in paperback format some 35/40 years before Google.

This guy, Brand, put out loads of issues, and finally in 1974 the last edition was published. On the back cover of this edition, they put a picture. A picture of an early morning road that you might perhaps find yourself hitchhiking on if you are the adventurous type. Under this picture were the words “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish”. This was their farewell message as the published their final edition and I think it was a fitting end. I wish this for myself in the future and as you leave this university as graduates and start down the road at the beginning of the rest of your life, I wish this for you too.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish

Interesting day...;p

So, here I am, in early Clearing in our new office. Yes, we moved out from our nice cosy office on the Southwood Site and have come across the park to Mansion Site. We are now in the computer labs on the ground floor by reception so there is not too far to walk when we come in every morning.

Monday was supposed to be a good day. We were in our new “office” with new phones (that none of us had even seen or learnt how to use ((yes they are complicated and are operated by not ever touching them!) until sometime last week). Anywhose, 8:58am rolled on and we were ready to take calls. We had been promised a lot of them with our new telecoms system.

8:59 The anticipation was rising. There was tension in the air. Tension that you cut with a knife!

9:00 Nothing!

9:01 Nothing!

9:05 Still ... Nothing!

9:10 we resigned ourselves to the fact that the phones were just not going to ring!!

9:11 a state of emergency was declared in the Office. The new phones which we so hoped would make life easier for us (eventually after we got used to using them) had let us down! There was a sudden scramble for the old phones that had done us so well in the past. New Technology FC was losing 1-0 to Old Telecom United and I can’t say I was disappointed. I actually like the old phones; they are clear and easy to use. When you pressed the ‘hold’ button, that’s exactly what it did. When you needed to transfer a call you pressed ‘transfer’. Simples!!

Unfortunately, there seems to be a bug in the system whereby calls to our dedicated line are seemingly not getting through. It’s a good thing we still have our old number still live and there is always the switchboard (Thank god for them) or it would have been an incredibly boring day.

So ... that brings us to today. We are still here and doing the good work of trying to get people into university. I have spent most of my morning doing some real grafting, moving boxes to our new break room. This proved to be more difficult than I originally imagined. The room is actually almost right next door to the office, but there is no direct ramp access so I had to walk all around the campus looking for a way in. This in itself was not easy. The reason being that we have living on our campuses a number of what can only be described as the rudest, ill-mannered children in the world. It is not just my opinion that these bunch are rude. It is clearly evident by their behaviour.

During the lunch period, while the rest of us normal people form an orderly queue to pay for our items at the shop, this lot feel it is acceptable for them to simply push in. Now, I know that we as the English have this pre-conceived reputation of being polite and well mannered, but that depends on everyone else (visitors) being compliant with our social etiquette. Now, if someone is in a bit of a hurry, and they actually ask me if they can go ahead of me in the queue, then nine times out of ten, I won’t actually mind, but NOOOOOO! This lot just shove in.

First day it happened I ignored it, did the same on the second day but when they tried to push in on the third day I felt morally obliged to remind them that they were in England where we queue up in an orderly fashion and wait to be called up by the next available cashier, not in their country where there might not be order or any such thing as manners! Anyways I feel this going down a path I have already been down (see my blog from October 2010 – “Stand On The Right”)

When I was a kid ...

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning...uphill BOTH ways, moan, moan, moan. And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to talk nonsense like that about how hard I had it and how easy kids today have it.

But now that...I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in bloody Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the road and put it in the letter box and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napster! If you wanted to steal music, you had to get a bus to the record shop and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and bleep it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got an engaged tone, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mum, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! 

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and' Asteroids' . Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! ! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You were stuffed when it came to TV channel hopping! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons on Live & Kicking (when the phone numbers started with 081 and not 0208 like they do now!) you spoilt little buggers!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire. Imagine that!

You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in the 1980’s!!!

Regards,

The over 30 Crowd

(The opinions expressed here are the views of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the University of Greenwich - Ed.)

It’s My Birthday and I’ll Cry If I Want To...

So, last Thursday was my birthday. Surprising as it may be to some, I turned 31! Yes 31!! I am (apparently) OLD!! I will tell you now, 31 is not old. You are only as old as the woman you are feeling! And she ain’t old! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone at the Enquiry Unit for their birthday wishes, and also those off the MyFace! Many thanks!!

In other news, this past week has been quite interesting. Apart from being my birthday this past Thursday, It was my brother-in-law’s 30^th the week before and my sister threw him a surprise party. The surprise was however ruined by his mum. She ended up telling him about it. No one was at all impressed by this faux pas! He came over on the day of his party to watch the Monaco Grand Prix with me and we then later made way to his party. Even though the surprise was spoilt, we still had fun. His cousin got so drunk he kept walking into the glass door. Did it three times! Happy Days!

I have been watching Britain’s Got Talent. In fact, I have been watching the program religiously since the beginning of the auditions eight weeks ago (Yes! I am that sad) partly because I like watching the program to see what (useless) talent there is and partly because for some unknown reason I find Amanda Holden quite attractive. A bit odd, because she does look like Joanna Lumley and I don’t really like her in that way. My best mate Daym thinks I am nuts. Maybe I am!!

In light of this, I do have a bit of a rant to get off my chest in regards to the various contestants. First of all, ‘Follow The Right Path’ – a rapping duo who managed to get through to the live finals on the back of a rap about their granddads that had passed away. Fair enough, but when you come out on the live semi’s then showing us (the public) something that we have already seen is a big NO-NO! This is Britain’s Got Talent, NOT Britain’s Got Repeats of the Auditions! In my personal opinion, these guys “Followed The Right Path” and “Went Round a Roundabout”. Didn’t deserve to get to this stage of the competition.  Next up, we have Steven Hall. I don’t understand this guy. I definitely do not get where the “talent” is ... The guy made a fool of himself to a medley of songs, didn’t sing (because he couldn’t) and didn’t really dance. Just “walked like an Egyptian”. This could actually be construed to be rather offensive, because that’s not how Egyptians walk. I know, my sister’s best friend is Egyptian and she don’t walk like that!! I was surprised he got through the auditions let alone to the live final on Saturday! And to be honest, I think that anyone who voted for Steven Hall needs their head checked! It’s a waste of 51p from a BT landline, more from another provider and considerably more from mobiles. Even if 15p from each call does go to charity! You might as well just go and donate the money directly yourself, that way you know for sure it went to charity. Then there was the guy whose eyes popped out, “Popeye Jackson” or something ... I think he was somewhat disillusioned, he had JEdward be a part of his act. Did he seriously think that they of all people would help him win? NUTTER!!

Other acts in the final, that twelve year old called Ronan Parke. I don’t understand this kid either. Maybe it’s just me, but he looks (and behaves a bit) like Justin Beiber’s long lost twin sister. He cry’s like a girl at every opportunity. Does he think that this will win him points?? I think not! He could carve out a career as Justin’s stunt double!

Another act I am not too sure about is “New Bounce” First, the name, makes them sound like some fabric conditioner or sheets that you put in the dryer with the clothes. They are pretty decent singers for their age and with some practice and guidance, could actually be successful. It just seemed that this had already been done once before. I actually got quite nostalgic seeing them sing, I felt like they could be the greatest boy band/pop group ever, but then my creative mind kicked in and I started to wonder how things could turn out for them and how I would make a movie about it where they eventually split up and one of them embarks on the most amazing solo career culminating in him being declared the “King of Pop” ... sounds a bit familiar ... isn’t one of them called MJ!? Sounds like a story with a sad ending.  Anyways, my concern with them is not actually them, it’s the fact that they were so incredibly happy and overjoyed and excited to be compared to JLS. What are JLS??? Are they the biggest boy band / pop group in the world today? Is there seriously no one bigger than them? It must be an INCREDIBLY UNBELIEVEABL E honour. really?! Really??! REALLY???!

In other news, On Saturday (during the Final) I learnt that my best mate Daym was in fact alive! This came as a relief to me as I had not heard from him in a few days, I haven’t actually seen him since Wednesday last week, but I don’t really worry him as long as he checks in once in a while. Speaking of Daym, I was actually quite surprised to see him on iTV2 hosting Britain’s Got More Talent, then I realised it was Stephen Mulhern ... uncanny resemblance. I’d put a picture of him comparing the two, as he would throw a bit of a hissy fit so (because of the resemblance) I am going to show two pictures of Mulhers!

Anywhose, so on Saturday, in addition to BGT, there was the Football on iTV. England vs. Switzerland. This was a Euro 2012 Qualifier, with England sitting comfortably at the top of the group. It should have been a walk in the park, but then you forget. This is ENGLAND we are talking about. As luck would have it, the game ended a 2-2 draw. This wasn’t because England were that good and Switzerland fought a comeback late in the second half. It’s because Switzerland had gone 2-0 up and England managed to scrape a draw. England manager Fabio Capello said it was because the England team were tired as they had played (up to) 50 games that season. Fair enough, but if already played so many, would one more be THAT much of a problem?? I think personally, that the England team are just rubbish and other teams do this thing called ‘practising’ where they develop their skills whereas in England the players just seem to concentrate on having extra-marital affairs with their team-mates wives rather than concentrating on the task at hand, and then complaining when their dirty deeds are revealed after they pay huge sums of money to take out super injunctions and their name still gets out. Bottom line, England shouldn’t be chasing a draw with Switzerland; they should be thrashing them, especially when playing at Wembley.

Enough of that now. But while I’m here I have another rant ... During the half-time commercial break I saw an a trailer for a film, called “Bridesmaids”, nothing odd about that, except at the end I saw the words “See the film everyone is talking about”, now, I am a multimedia student and have not heard anyone talking about the film. Nor have I heard it be the topic of discussion while at work. I mean, today we were discussing movies we’d like to see or have seen lately, and quite a few were mentioned. Pirates of The Caribbean 4, X-Men (the current one and the previous one), The Kings Speech, even The Matrix, but there was no mention of “Bridesmaids” somehow, I do not think this is the “must see” movie this summer ... not when you have films like Harry Potter’s Deathly Hallows coming or the next instalment of Transformers.

In other news, I am still looking for a new car. Considered an Audi, but they are really just expensive Volkswagens ... and they are expensive to start with!

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and are immortal.

Apparently there are a million and one excuses for not wearing a seatbelt. Most of them are killers...

Webuyanycar.com apparently sponsors motoring on Dave

And as a final thought, something that made me smile, I saw an ad on gumtree earlier...

"FOR SALE - Complete set of Encyclopedia in good condition.
Reason for selling: No longer needed.
Got married, Wife knows EVERYTHING!”

Till next time...

Ps ... I know I said I wouldn’t put a picture of Daym, but got carried away and have done it anyways ... sorry mate!

(The opinions expressed here are the views of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the University of Greenwich - Ed.)

War is costly. Peace is priceless

So, here i am, back at work. Sitting in my chair sandwiched between Nicola and Uzma. This seems to be reminiscent of my days in Clearing 2010 (see my first blog) and that didn’t work out too well for me (again see my first blog).

Anyways, Turns out I have made a slight logistical error in my previous blogs. Turns out, Uzma’s christening that she has to go to is not this week, but is actually at the end of the month.  In light of this recent evidence, there will be an update on that next month sometime.

I have decided that my skills as a dessert chef are causing me more problems than it would have fixed. If you will recall, just before Christmas, Nicola mentioned (to my indignation) that she had never tried a cheesecake before. I then very kindly made her one. Having seen this (and eaten Tiffany’s & Uzma‘s original cheesecake) Uzma also wanted. Now, both these women have been harassing me about making more. Something that I am not really prepared to do as i feel that it will cheapen the value of my cheesecake. I am glad that they liked it, but not happy about having to make it every other week. I came up with an ingenious plan, however and told them that Uzma can have a cheesecake and while she wants one, Nicola can’t have one. Uzma is not allowed to share either Similarly, the opposite would also be true, while Nicola wants one, Uzma can’t have one. This last statement actually drew some evil looks from Uzma!

Recently Nicola asked me why do I keep writing about others in my blog. Well Nicola, I keep writing about you in my blogs for sheer entertainment value. You make me laugh with the things you get up to and things that happen to you ... like forgetting how to spell your own name! I have decided that (this week at least) I will not be annoying Nicola. She has an exam tomorrow and is busy trying to revise (in between phone calls). Speaking of exams, I’d like to wish all those sitting them, the best of luck!

Anywhose ... so it turns out my last blog entry went down pretty well. As it happens, a number of people wrote along similar lines, some more controversial than others but hey, that’s life. Speaking of controversial, did anyone notice how the Queen (in her yellow attire) at the wedding looked like another someone famed for his yellow clothing? I can’t say for sure, but have we been duped yet again??? 

Its been an interesting week thus far. Apparently there was a bomb threat in London this week. Something to do with the IRA, no doubt set to coincide with the Queens visit to Ireland this week. She is the first British monarch to visit the country since independence. Although having said that, she is the ONLY British monarch since independence.  I must say, though, it was rather nice of them to call and let us know what they were planning rather than just blowing us up without any warning as others have done in the past.

In other news, MG are back!! At some time today, they will be unveiling their first car in 16 years at the Longbridge Plant in Birmingham.  MG, now owned by Chinese car company Shanghai Automotive Industry Corporation, has said the new 1.8-litre MG6 will complete with the likes of the Volkswagen Golf and Ford Focus when goes on general sale.  Prices for the new four-door vehicle are expected to start around £15,500 and rise to £19,000. Slightly out of my price range at the moment, but who knows ... let’s see what Clarkson has to say about it when the new series of Top Gear returns. He may well agree with the view of the Shanghai guys, as they have so eloquently described their new car in these images. One thing is for sure, The MG badge is definitely back and not going anywhere ... for now at least.

In other news, having perused the usual stack of websites, I came across a hat on the eBay that is currently the subject of an (increasing) £18,000 bid. In this day and age, with the economy being the way it is, do people really have this kind of money to spend ... on a hat ... and one that they will most probably never wear at any point in their lives??? Fair enough, the proceeds from this hat will go to charities, but it’s still a hat that is being bid on for this ridiculous amount and to be perfectly honest, I don’t see what is so special about it that warrants such a price tag. This hat isn’t even anything special to look at. I mean, it looks like some kind of weird turkey – twizzler – toilet seat pretzel thing!

Speaking of hats, what’s up with Tara Palmer-Tomkinson??? Didn’t she have some sort of a drug problem where her nose was all squished and bent up because she had been snorting cocaine (I originally typed c**k! Thank god for the little green line highlighting grammatical errors). Why would someone first of all take the drug, then after their nose is messed up from doing so, cover up the nose then turn up at a major event, one that is being broadcast around the whole world, wearing a bright blue (extremely noticeable hat) that actually points to the offending nose, thus attracting the world’s attention towards it!

Till next time...

(The opinions expressed here are the views of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the University of Greenwich - Ed.)

If Carlsberg did weekends ...

If Carlsberg did weekends ...

First things first ... and due to the nature of the content of this edition I need to put this at the beginning  ... the standard disclaimer ... (followed by another one at the end)

(The opinions expressed here are the views of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the University of Greenwich - Ed.)

Secondly, Congratulations to Prince William and Kate (or Catherine as I believe she is now to be called). I hope they have along and wonderful life together.

Thirdly ... to quote Franklin Roosevelt, Sunday, May 1^st , 2011 - a date which will live in infamy - the President of the United States of America announced that Public Enemy (not the rap dudes) #1  - Mr O.B.Laden has been (apparently) killed. Speaking of Osama, has anyone noticed his name is an anagram for “Bold, mean, Asian” or “Semi-old banana” He does look like one in this picture taken of him a couple years ago. Speaking of people that look like bananas, is it just me, or has anyone else noticed something rather interesting about Rihanna’s new “red hair” look.  I think she distinctly looks like one Mr Sideshow Bob. I shall throw it out to you to decide ...  I think the likeness is uncanny! The mastermind that is Bob has bested us and been posing as Rihanna.

Anyways, I digress ... Back to Osama. So apparently the Americans have finally found and subsequently killed the man. The mission was completed by a small group of soldiers. Apparently they were soldiers of fortune, and in a situation where no one else could help, if you could find them (and Obama did), you could hire ...  sounds too good to be true. Maybe Hollywood could follow tradition and make a movie about a crack commando unit that (for dramatic purposes) were sent to a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These people would then escape from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. I don’t know ... its just an idea. I know I would go and see that film! Speaking of films, this past weekend has been just like a Disney movie – A girl married a Prince, the bad-ass villain was killed and no one saw a dead body!

In other news, I am somewhat concerned about the Pakistani authorities. I heard that they were planning to employ this commando unit to help them find their lips and chins. Apparently they have been hiding under their noses the whole time. Although having said that, I am also not too sure about the capabilities of the American Central Intelligence Agency. Over the past ten years they have spent billions of their dollars, lost thousands of lives and where did they find the man??? At home!!! Kind of ironic really! So much for the Central INTELLIGENCE Agency.

In other news, Uzma was due to attend a christening (for which she purchased a new dress – see “Bread not Bombs, We knead the dough” ). She is not in and therefore no update on how that worked out. Apparently she was really excited about a new hat she had recently bought. When I see her I shall enquire about that.

Now that the Easter holiday is over, we are back to the normal functioning of the Enquiry Unit. Nicola now sits to my left. (we have moved to the other side of the corner of the office in which we sit) and has decided to attempt to annoy me (its not working). Apparently her mate whose name is Kevin, was out with the lads in central London, where he managed to hook up with what he thought was a rather attractive young lady. Well, he got 2/3. She was attractive and young ... I chose the picture of the blonde, but have just been informed by Nicola that the person in question actually looked more like the lovely brunette to her right. So he in fact got 0/3. This person was not attractive, young or in fact (as Kevin will attest to) a woman! It was rather amusing and caused Nicola to laugh more than she has ever done. This would explain the erratic driving skills! Speaking of which, last week she showed me some of her seen exam questions ...  I will share the most amusing ones with you.

1.    With reference to theories and empirical evidence, consider and discuss the attentional  processes that are involved while driving a car. (This question specifically relates to the most dangerous person on the road – Miss Nicola A. O.)

2.    How irrational are irrational beliefs?

3.    Women have higher rates of mental disorders than men. Why might this be so?

Disclaimer

This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of my employer or the University of Greenwich, or anyone associated with either.

In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time…I consider this a necessary consequence of having an open mind. This weblog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various memes running around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today. Having said that, If I say something stupid in the future, it’s better to be able to point out that the stupidity is mine, and mine alone. My stupidity! You can’t have it! :)

If you still are not happy, then feel free to challenge me, disagree with me, or tell me I’m completely nuts in the comments section of each blog entry, but I reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason whatsoever (abusive, profane, rude, or anonymous comments) – so keep it polite, please.

While every caution has been taken to provide my readers with most accurate information and honest analysis, please use your discretion before taking any decisions based on the information in this blog. Author will not compensate you in any way whatsoever if you ever happen to suffer a loss/inconvenience/damage because of/while making use of information in this blog.

In closing I just want to mention, It is not my intention to offend anyone and if any offence has been or may be caused by any future blogs, I apologise for that now.  I’m a human being and my blogs reflect that humanity.” I err therefore I’m human”

Have a nice day!

J