So, last Thursday was my birthday. Surprising as it may be to some, I turned 31! Yes 31!! I am (apparently) OLD!! I will tell you now, 31 is not old. You are only as old as the woman you are feeling! And she ain’t old! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone at the Enquiry Unit for their birthday wishes, and also those off the MyFace! Many thanks!!
In other news, this past week has been quite interesting. Apart from being my birthday this past Thursday, It was my brother-in-law’s 30th the week before and my sister threw him a surprise party. The surprise was however ruined by his mum. She ended up telling him about it. No one was at all impressed by this faux pas! He came over on the day of his party to watch the Monaco Grand Prix with me and we then later made way to his party. Even though the surprise was spoilt, we still had fun. His cousin got so drunk he kept walking into the glass door. Did it three times! Happy Days!
I have been watching Britain’s Got Talent. In fact, I have been watching the program religiously since the beginning of the auditions eight weeks ago (Yes! I am that sad) partly because I like watching the program to see what (useless) talent there is and partly because for some unknown reason I find Amanda Holden quite attractive. A bit odd, because she does look like Joanna Lumley and I don’t really like her in that way. My best mate Daym thinks I am nuts. Maybe I am!!In light of this, I do have a bit of a rant to get off my chest in regards to the various contestants. First of all, ‘Follow The Right Path’ – a rapping duo who managed to get through to the live finals on the back of a rap about their granddads that had passed away. Fair enough, but when you come out on the live semi’s then showing us (the public) something that we have already seen is a big NO-NO! This is Britain’s Got Talent, NOT Britain’s Got Repeats of the Auditions! In my personal opinion, these guys “Followed The 
Right Path” and “Went Round a Roundabout”. Didn’t deserve to get to this stage of the competition. Next up, we have Steven Hall. I don’t understand this guy. I definitely do not get
where the “talent” is ... The guy made a fool of himself to a medley of songs, didn’t sing (because he couldn’t) and didn’t really dance. Just “walked like an Egyptian”. This could actually be construed to be rather offensive, because that’s not how Egyptians walk. I know, my sister’s best friend is Egyptian and she don’t walk like that!! I was surprised he got through the auditions let alone to the live final on Saturday! And to be honest, I think that anyone who voted for Steven Hall needs their head checked! It’s a waste of 51p from a BT landline, more from another provider and considerably more from mobiles. Even if 15p from each call does go to charity! You might as well just go and donate the money directly yourself, that way you know for sure it went to charity. Then there was the guy whose eyes popped out, “Popeye Jackson” or something ... I think he was somewhat disillusioned, he had JEdward be a part of his act. Did he seriously think that they of all people would help him win? NUTTER!!
Right Path” and “Went Round a Roundabout”. Didn’t deserve to get to this stage of the competition. Next up, we have Steven Hall. I don’t understand this guy. I definitely do not get where the “talent” is ... The guy made a fool of himself to a medley of songs, didn’t sing (because he couldn’t) and didn’t really dance. Just “walked like an Egyptian”. This could actually be construed to be rather offensive, because that’s not how Egyptians walk. I know, my sister’s best friend is Egyptian and she don’t walk like that!! I was surprised he got through the auditions let alone to the live final on Saturday! And to be honest, I think that anyone who voted for Steven Hall needs their head checked! It’s a waste of 51p from a BT landline, more from another provider and considerably more from mobiles. Even if 15p from each call does go to charity! You might as well just go and donate the money directly yourself, that way you know for sure it went to charity. Then there was the guy whose eyes popped out, “Popeye Jackson” or something ... I think he was somewhat disillusioned, he had JEdward be a part of his act. Did he seriously think that they of all people would help him win? NUTTER!!
Other acts in the final, that twelve year old called Ronan Parke. I don’t understand this kid either. Maybe it’s just me, but he looks (and behaves a bit) like Justin Beiber’s long lost twin sister. He cry’s like a girl at every opportunity. Does he think that this will win him points?? I think not! He could carve out a career as Justin’s stunt double!
Another act I am not too sure about is “New Bounce” First, the name, makes them sound like some fabric conditioner or sheets that you put in the dryer with the clothes. They are pretty decent singers for their age and with some practice and guidance, could actually be successful. It just seemed that this had already been done once before. I actually got quite nostalgic seeing them sing, I felt like they could be the greatest boy band/pop group ever, but then my creative mind kicked in and I started to wonder how things could turn out for them and how I would make a movie about it where they eventually split up and one of them embarks on the most amazing solo career culminating in him being declared the “King of Pop” ... sounds a bit familiar ... isn’t one of them called MJ!? Sounds like a story with a sad ending. Anyways, my concern with them is not actually them, it’s the fact that they were so incredibly happy and overjoyed and excited to be compared to JLS. What are JLS??? Are they the biggest boy band / pop group in the world today? Is there seriously no one bigger than them? It must be an INCREDIBLY UNBELIEVEABL E honour. really?! Really??! REALLY???!
In other news, On Saturday (during the Final) I learnt that my best mate Daym was in fact alive! This came as a relief to me as I had not heard from him in a few days, I haven’t actually seen him since Wednesday last week, but I don’t really worry him as long as he checks in once in a while. Speaking of Daym, I was actually quite surprised to see him on iTV2 hosting Britain’s Got More Talent, then I realised it was Stephen Mulhern ... uncanny resemblance. I’d put a picture of him comparing the two, as he would throw a bit of a hissy fit so (because of the resemblance) I am going to show two pictures of Mulhers!
Anywhose, so on Saturday, in addition to BGT, there was the Football on iTV. England vs. Switzerland. This was a Euro 2012 Qualifier, with England sitting comfortably at the top of the group. It should have been a walk in the park, but then you forget. This is ENGLAND we are talking about. As luck would have it, the game ended a 2-2 draw. This wasn’t 
because England were that good and Switzerland fought a comeback late in the second half. It’s because Switzerland had gone 2-0 up and England managed to scrape a draw. England manager Fabio Capello said it was because the England team were tired as they had played (up to) 50 games that season. Fair enough, but if already played so many, would one more be THAT much of a problem?? I think personally, that the England team are just rubbish and other teams do this thing called ‘practising’ where they develop their skills whereas in England the players just seem to concentrate on having extra-marital affairs with their team-mates wives rather than concentrating on the task at hand, and then complaining when their dirty deeds are revealed after they pay huge sums of money to take out super injunctions and their name still gets out. Bottom line, England shouldn’t be chasing a draw with Switzerland; they should be thrashing them, especially when playing at Wembley. 
Enough of that now. But while I’m here I have another rant ... During the half-time commercial break I saw an a trailer for a film, called “Bridesmaids”, nothing odd about that, except at the end I saw the words “See the film everyone is talking about”, now, I am a multimedia student and have not heard anyone talking about the film. Nor have I heard it be the topic of discussion while at work. I mean, today we were discussing movies we’d like to see or have seen lately, and quite a few were mentioned. Pirates of The Caribbean 4, X-Men (the current one and the previous one), The Kings Speech, even The Matrix, but there was no mention of “Bridesmaids” somehow, I do not think this is the “must see” movie this summer ... not when you have films like Harry Potter’s Deathly Hallows coming or the next instalment of Transformers. In other news, I am still looking for a new car. Considered an Audi, but they are really just expensive Volkswagens ... and they are expensive to start with!
What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and are immortal.
Apparently there are a million and one excuses for not wearing a seatbelt. Most of them are killers...
Webuyanycar.com apparently sponsors motoring on Dave
And as a final thought, something that made me smile, I saw an ad on gumtree earlier...
"FOR SALE - Complete set of Encyclopedia in good condition.
Reason for selling: No longer needed.
Got married, Wife knows EVERYTHING!”
Reason for selling: No longer needed.
Got married, Wife knows EVERYTHING!”
Till next time...
Ps ... I know I said I wouldn’t put a picture of Daym, but got carried away and have done it anyways ... sorry mate!(The opinions expressed here are the views of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the University of Greenwich - Ed.)
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